Dating after divorce with kids

27 Nov

Truth be told, younger children (under age 10) may feel confused, angry, or sad because they tend to be possessive of their parents.Renowned researcher Constance Ahrons, who conducted a 20-year study of children of divorce, concluded that most children find their parent’s courtship behaviors confusing and strange.They are dealing with their own issues of loss, betrayal, adjustment, trust- just to name a few.Parents need to make sure before things get tricky that children understand their continued importance to them, the freedom for the child(ren) to continue a close loving relationship with the ex-spouse (despite any personal misgivings) and the possibility of new people in the parent’s life.Be cautious not to be overly excited about dating because your teens are about to get to that stage themselves and you want to preserve the excitement and healthy conversations about dating for them.However, you may have a child who wants to hear some simple things about how the date went and it’s okay to share that information, but beware that you’re not using your children as your best friend.

Some might think that they are ready to jump into dating right away, while others feel like they'll never be able to have a relationship again.

Introductions should be reserved for when you feel the relationship has potential.

Be forwarned that children can develop close attachments quickly so you don’t want your children to develop a meaningful relationship with your man until you know he’s the one and sticking around.

Next, the setting and length of the first introduction is crucial to success.

Meeting in an informal setting may help your kids feel more relaxed.